Friendship Friday – How Long is Too Long to Wait For a Reply?

Texting on a qwerty keypad phone

Texting on a qwerty keypad phone (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I come to you with a question: how long is too long to wait for a reply from someone who you consider a close friend? How long can you put up with a certain someone being difficult to get in touch with before you snap?

Let’s Talk About The Basics

I’ve known this girl since we were in primary school. We shared crisps and sweets at break time, sat together at lunch, I even used to ask out boys for her (I was always much too busy playing rugby/football with the guys to be interested in them). We’ve always been close from the first time I told a girl off for being mean to her as she was too weak to tell her herself.

When we went to high school, we weren’t in any of the same classes any more, but we still kept close, meeting up in the same place every day so we didn’t miss each other. We met up most evenings, including our special “ned  Wednesdays” where we used to dress up like chavs and either go running or wander to areas of town we’d never been before, usually ending up in being lost (which should be harder in a town with less than 20,000 residents). We started going to gigs together, started underage drinking around the same time, even went through the same sorts of “phases” at the same time (one example being the emo phase I had some nostalgia for here). We were inseparable. Well, until she got a proper boyfriend anyway.

Joys With Jay And Friends

During the aforementioned emo phase, we started hanging around with the boys who skated and listened to similar music to us. Lucy started going out with a boy called Jay, and they really got on very well….the first time. Being basically children but attempting to grow up much too fast, they spent all of their time together, separate from the rest of us. I’d try to keep up with what was going on in her life, but getting her to text or phone back was already becoming harder. I had no idea just how hard it was going to get.

Fights, “Friends” And Assorted Fun

I’ve always had a decent temper, but over time it does begin to fray. This friendship was dying, and because we’d been so close for so long, I was damned if I was going to let it go just because of some guy. I remember leaving multiple voicemails and texts for her but it was still one way traffic. She’d surrounded herself with a bunch of new “friends” who I could tell only wanted to hang around because her parents let her use the house for parties at the weekend.

I was proved right because when she broke up with Jay, they all disappeared and weren’t there to support her. Yet I patiently sat there, listening to her complain about the bunch of pricks she’d set up with. I bit my tongue, but it served her right.

And Now, I Just Fucking Give Up

Jumping forward a few years, we’re in the present day. I can’t actually remember the last time I saw Lucy since the good period back at the start of the year. Sure, I’ve been seeing a lot of Chris, but I’ve been texting her to ask what’s been going on and if she was free to hang about at some time. Average reply time is now sitting at around a week, unless she wants something.

I’m at my wits end, considering this past week I haven’t been able to text as my phone bill hasn’t been paid and I can’t afford to pay it myself, and now she decides she’s my friend again. Perhaps she’s had another falling out with Ashley or some other bellend I can’t stand to be around, but my sympathy is running thin with her. Why hang around with people she plainly doesn’t like? I refuse to see her if she’s going out with Ashley, as I just don’t like the girl.

After a barrage of texts (including a laughable one asking when my birthday is – the day and month are the same fucking number!), a facebook post and even a solitary tweet I finally replied, saying “Hey you, things are great here. How’s yourself? Cannae text back as bill’s no been paid! Miss you!” and as yet I’ve had no response. Any bets on how long it’s going to take?

I give up. No more effort is coming from this end until she bucks up her ideas.

 

Do you have similar issues with flaky friends? How do you deal with them? How long is too long to stand for this? I’d like to hear your input.

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2 thoughts on “Friendship Friday – How Long is Too Long to Wait For a Reply?

  1. Ah yes, I had a friend like that. “Had” being the operative word. Finally the frustration proves too much and you stop trying, leading them to not get in touch with you. It can be very frustrating, but there’s only so much “chasing” you can do. A friendship is all about give and take; not all give! It gets to the stage where you think, “should friendship really be this hard?”

  2. You know how I feel about people like Lucy! I would not have bothered trying for so long, you must have the patience of a saint woman!

    There’s only so much effort you can put into a friendship before it just becomes pointless.

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