Is that I’m a really, really terrible loser. I already had some idea of my dislike of coming less-than-first, but if you’re getting frustrated because a CPU thrashes you in Mario Kart Wii, you’re a tremendously awful loser.
Since Chris came home, every time I’ve been there for a few days, he plays his father at Mario Kart, and a couple of weeks ago, as he was bored of defeating his dad so many times, decided that now was my turn to try it out for myself. What a mistake. Having never played it before, I had no idea of how harsh I was supposed to steer around corners and thus spent a lot of time with a black screen as his Mii character fell into the abyss. I laughed outwardly, but losing really does get to me, even at something I have no clue how to do well. I had to learn how to get better, and not just to save my pride. I need to win.
This week, Chris suggested that I learn how to play it properly, and offered to give me lessons on how to go about the tracks. I wonder if he knew what he was letting himself in for! He took things right back to the very beginning with me (though forgetting that you can turn the bastardly CPU completely off, instead of setting it to easy, which may have been better for teaching the layouts of the tracks) – and we started off equally patiently, though falling off with such frequency did start to irritate me after a while.
And this was only the beginning.
As I was making adequate progress, Chris increased the difficulty in tracks he was choosing (though he was warned with each new one that it was on his head if I did so badly I gave up), sped up the carts and the difficulty of the CPU. My luck seemed to be with me, as he changed the difficulty of opponent from easy to medium. I had no idea what was in for me.
As I wasn’t capable of being so far in front that the majority of the fighting was behind me, I was in the trenches with the likes of Birdo, Daisy, Donkey Kong, and of course Mario himself. Now, I’m sure I’ve said before, but I’m tiny. Barely 5’2 tall, and although I doubt it like every woman does, I don’t weigh all that much either. Placing these height and weight constraints on my own Mii character means that she’s also tiny, and is only given a small cart, compared to Chris’ large one, which anyone looking at the size difference would automatically assume that he would crush me given any room to on the course.
Mario Kart Characters Are Cruel, Cruel Bastards
It had all started so well, I thought I was easily going to master this game. It was going to be my new Guitar Hero for the Wii. How wrong I was! Once the difficulty had been ramped up, my diminutive size gave the competition from the CPU, from both driving into me (which made it virtually impossible to avoid the abyss on certain tracks) and from being a target for what seemed like all of their missiles. Luckily I had been given tuition on how to avoid one or two red shells thrown at me, but not from the onslaught that came to me during some games. I was never only hit once, but more like 4 times – as Chris’ dad would say, I was getting “mollicated”by them.
I was getting increasingly irritated by it all, as even when I was in second, I was getting the items which I assume were meant for Chris, but I appeared to be acting as a shield for him! At one point I was removed from second to eleventh position on the final corner of a track, before taking the huff and battering Chris with the wii remote.
I’m learning to control it a little better now, and hopefully soon, I’ll be able to defeat not only Jim, but Chris too!
How are you at losing? Do you always strive to win? Do you have any tips for me to finally surprise Chris and beat him on more than one course at a time?